The very public, very ugly divorce between Frank and Jamie McCourt, owners of the Los Angeles Dodgers, has prompted divorce attorney Roger Rombro to remind divorcing couples to make sure their children are not caught in the crossfire.
Los Angeles, CA, April 13, 2010 — As Frank and Jamie McCourt continue to exchange embarrassing insults in their high-profile divorce, Roger Rombro, a divorce attorney in Torrance, Redondo Beach, and Manhattan Beach, is glad the McCourt’s do not have any small children. Children suffer long-term emotional damage when exposed to often bitter, angry exchanges between divorcing parents.
“Children need to be insulated from the dissolution process,” said Rombro, who started his career in divorce lawyer in Southern California more than 30 years ago to protect his rights as a father during his own divorce. “You should not engage in any negative conversation about the divorce either with the children or with adults if the children are present”.
Legal experts and child psychologists agree with Rombro on the following tips divorcing parents should observe to make sure their children do not suffer emotionally during a divorce:
Make sure your children understand they’re not the reason for the divorce – Keep the explanation simple, “your mother and I can no longer live together happily”. You need to know that this has nothing to do with you. Your mom and I both love you very much and nothing will change that.”
Take care when discussing litigation – Your children do not need to know the sum and substance of all legal documents, depositions, and proceedings. If you and your spouse are unable to decide the issue of custody, you may wish to offer a simply explanation like “a judge is going to decide the time you will spend with your mommy and daddy because we both love you very much and can’t agree.”
Allow the children to love both parents – Create an environment where the children can be free to love both parents. If you cringe or change the subject when your child brings up Daddy’s name, you may be sending a message to your child that you do not approve of his or her relationship with your ex.
Do not send messages through your children – If you are unable to communicate by any means with your ex whether in-person, by phone, or e-mail, you may wish to consider co-parenting counseling or request a parent coordinator.
Take the high road when possible – This may sound contrary to the advice you might expect from a divorce attorney. However, when it comes to things like schedule changes, sometimes it is better to give a little even if the favor isn’t always returned. In the event the matter goes to court, it is always better to be perceived as the parent who is flexible and cooperative.
Do not say disparaging things about the other parent in front of the children – Judges will expect you to be supportive of the children’s relationship with their other parent.
“Children need to have a positive understand of each parent to be healthy”, said Rombro. “To say something to the children that’s critical of the other parent results in something dangerous to the child. It benefits no one.”
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Contact:
Roger Rombro
Rombro & Associates
Los Angeles, CA
310-954-1319
[email protected]
http://www.rombrolaw.com
